As a kid, once horror was introduced into my life, it not only changed my life, but it saved my life. As a bullied kid, I had no friends. That meant no one to hang out with in the traditional sense in those formative years when kids usually have sleepovers, parties or just going to the park to throw the football around; I unfortunately lost on those typical things and that can be lonely, socially crippling and internally constantly asking "What's wrong with me?" Horror became a salvation. I watched so many horror movies as a kid, back in the day; they always came on TV, whatever channels you could find them on and I got my fill; watching and learning about as many as I could get my hands on and in a weird way, horror films became my best friend. No one could understand that and a lot of people just didn't understand and honestly I didn't need anyone to understand. I knew what they did for me and it gave me comfort and immensely grew my imagination. Watching horror tapped into that innate writing gift that woke up and was desperate to get its fill of me putting pen to paper.
I love the mysteries of the world and love the peoples of the world, so traveling is something that I cannot get enough of. Meeting new people and going to new places works in the favor of imagination. No two people are alike and that excites me because everyone has a story and is telling their own story without actually writing it down with the daily things they do and the observer in me always keeps my eyes open and my ears on alert. It's fascinating to hear what people discuss and how they interact with others; it's the reason I have love for everyone because no is perfect and it's the flaws that create the most beauty. We only know a person by how much they show us and it's rare that anyone show us a hundred percent of themselves, myself included; it's those mysteries that let the imagination run wild and why I love fiction because you can explore those what ifs because there is so much we don't know and those what ifs are thrilling, exciting, adventure-worthy and in a lot of ways those what ifs can be scary. Horror is scary and plays with those what ifs. Life as we know is still a big, what if.
Eventually friends came. As a horror fan and being to myself throughout my grade school and high school years, it seemed like no one liked horror as much as me or understood writing the way I understood it. I started going to horror themed conventions and it was there, in 2007 when I realized there were hundreds, then later thousands, upon thousands of people who were just like me; who found the beauty in horror when they were kids and some did not have friends or were bullied themselves for just being themselves in that notion. That's where I found my people. The conventions only lasted between Friday-Sunday, but in those three days it was like being reunited with family members and in those three days it felt like a whole week could've gone by with people who understand you and feel like they can truly empathize with your plight because there's is nearly similar. The small friend group that I have had for nearly fifteen years now all became friends because of our love of "A Nightmare on Elm Street," the film that was my introduction to horror and the story I'm constantly chasing after writing my own stories. The film inspired us so much that we made a documentary about our friendship and the film and what it did for us called "Fredheads: The Documentary." The film and its writer have not only inspired me, but the people I can actually call my friends/family. So, all those years of having no friends was actually for a reason I didn't understand at the time, but another one of those mysteries.
